The most expensive habit it real estate

Have you watched The Last Dance yet? It’s the Michael Jordan/Chicago Bulls documentary. I know, a lot of people watched it years ago. I personally just finished it. Really enjoyed it, saw MJ in a whole new light when it came to his mindset for winning, and his confidence. There were a ton of learning moments for each and every one of us throughout the entire series, and it doesn’t matter if you like basketball or not.

Now the reason I bring this up this month is that there was a moment during one of the games that really caught my attention and sparked this whole thought. It wasn’t the actual game, the players, or the score. It was the crowd.

This was 25 years ago. A different era. Different TV production quality. The jerseys looked different. And the energy in the overall game definitely looked different. But what really stood out? Every single person in the arena was watching the game. Actually watching it! They weren’t half there. They weren’t documenting it. They weren’t taking selfies. They were standing up, cheering, looking at the game. They were in it. Just people… totally locked into the moment.

Like I said, that sparked this whole column for this month.

And then in a completely different episode, Jordan’s sitting there on the sidelines ahead of a team practice and he was just reading a newspaper. A newspaper. And that’s when the other thought hit me — we still read today, but we do it on our phones and it’s just not the same thing.

A newspaper doesn’t send you notifications. It doesn’t light up or make noise. It doesn’t pull you sideways into 17 other things. You read it. You fold it. You move on with your day. You don’t check it every two minutes to see if something new magically appeared. And yes, I get it, we have access to so much more reading on our phones, and we can technically get all the information we want on our phones — but who reads the actual newspaper anymore, anyway!?

The point here isn’t the newspaper. The point is that the phone is different. We go to check one thing. One! And somehow we’re three apps deep, responding to something we didn’t even care about 10 minutes ago, and then we can’t even remember what we originally opened it for in the first place. And the real problem isn’t actually the phone. It’s that we never really put it down. And that might be the most expensive habit in real estate… never mind that — in life!

We all do it. Standing in line. Waiting for a call. At a red light (shhh). Between emails. At dinner. In between pitches while watching the Jays game, or between whistles while watching the Leafs (ugh, don’t talk to me about the Leafs this year).

I actually consciously noticed it at the gym the other day. There’s that small window between sets where your body is recovering. That’s supposed to be breathing time. Reset time. Think time. And then there was that twitch to grab the phone. You know the one I’m talking about. No real reason. Just habit. Instead of breathing, instead of letting the muscles settle, instead of mentally getting ready for the next lift — grabbing for that phone to check absolutely nothing, instead of just being in the moment. It’s this subconscious need for stimulation.

And in that moment I caught myself thinking — when do we actually leave space for thinking, solitude, and solace anymore? We don’t sit with anything. We don’t get bored. We don’t allow our minds to wander long enough to solve problems. We’ve all developed this bad habit of filling every gap with all sorts of noise and pollution.

Let’s talk numbers for a second

Depending on the study you read, it’s said that we check our phones somewhere between 90 and 150 times a day. Let’s go to the low end and call it 90. If each time we check is just one minute long… that’s an hour and a half of our time just gone. And we both know that quick check wasn’t only one minute. Some days, it’s closer to two and a half hours, or even more. That’s no exaggeration. It’s just basic math. And we’re repeating this same pattern every single day. Over a week? It’s roughly 10 hours.

Ten hours!! And then we say we don’t have time to prospect!? We don’t have time to follow up!? We don’t have time to build relationships properly!?

The truth is — you’re wasting your time, and it’s time you got real with yourself about it. But unfortunately I know all too well — most people reading this will think “not me.” Oh yes it is! It’s all of us… unfortunately it’s society these days. And we all need to do something about it, for our own sake.

This business requires presence

You can’t build a pipeline with randomness. And money isn’t the solution to complacency. You can’t deepen relationships when your brain is constantly switching tabs. You can’t out-execute someone who is locked in while you’re half-distracted all day. And just like I said, most people will say “not me” because scrolling and checking notifications feels like productivity — but it’s really just a false illusion of work.

You’re consuming something. Market updates. News. Other agents’ content. Tips. Reels. Opinions. It feels like you’re in motion. But you’re not creating anything. Reading about the market isn’t calling your database. Watching someone else’s content isn’t building your own. Checking stats isn’t setting appointments.

The agents who win consistently aren’t superhuman. They’re just not constantly hijacked by every notification. They do the boring stuff. Over and over. No excuses.

We don’t sit and think anymore. We don’t let ideas sit. Some of my best ideas have come while driving. Or walking. Or just sitting quietly. If I fill every one of those moments with scrolling, those ideas don’t show up.

When was the last time you just sat on a dock and listened to the water? When was the last time you sat by a fire and actually paid attention to the sound of the crackle? When was the last time you went on vacation and actually checked out? When was the last time you listened to music without also checking something at the same time? Be honest with yourself.

I see it at home too. I’ve caught my mom on her phone while she’s visiting the grandkids — head down, watching something. And if you asked her what mattered more, she’d say the kids every time. But in the moment, the phone wins. I’ve called my wife out at dinner. I’ve caught myself doing the exact same thing. And I tell my kids all the time to get their head out of their phone, especially in family moments and car rides.

This isn’t me passing judgment on you. This is about awareness for every single one of us. We’ve all developed this bad habit, and I truly believe that as we each work to course correct, we will find and achieve more happiness and more fulfillment. The smartphone, the internet, and social media have certainly connected us more with others. But unfortunately they have made us less connected with our true selves.

Time is the asset. Attention is the lever.